Other Routes in Somewhere n00b Rock Climbing
Road to Utopia
1.9/4
A 40-foot long Trad route rated 5.7 5a 15 V+ 13 MVS 4b (PG13)


Probably no slab features

Definitely chimney features

Almost certainly no overhang features

Almost certainly no crack features
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- Cosmic Crack of Some Intrigue
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- Student Unrest
- Jack the Ripper
- Euhedral
- Comes Around
- Superman Can
- Breaking Bad
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- Fun Stuff
- All Booked Up
- Planet X
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- Steeper Than It Looks
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- Book of Durian
- Handicapped Zone
- Quite Reasonable
- Squeeze, Pull, and Yank
- Night Gallery
- Mother's Little Helper
- Bright Eyed And Bushy Tailed
- Kublai Corner
- The Caterpillar
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- Up and Right, Love
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- Presto in C Sharp
- Unwashed Lederhosen
- After-shroom Delight
- Jack the Chimney
- Stop Grumbling
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- Dangling Digit
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- Phineas' Pinnacle
- Underpass
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- Five Tenor
- Hoopharkz
- Tiptoe
- Mr. Rogers
- Spacely Sprockets
- Hat Trick
- Wide Ride
- Spot Craft
- Yipes! Stripes!
- SSDDC
- Buck
- Lazy Day
- Roast Leg of Chair
- White Fang
- The Downclimb
- Rankine File
- Tasgrainian Devil
- Buddha's Belly
- Letdown, The
- Vanishing Desert
- Granny Goose
- Wind Cries Mary, The
- Anniversary Special
- Fingertip Traverse Of Josh
- Indian Wars
- I-Go-Go-E
- The Beatles
- Smelly Pirate Hooker
- Dike Up-Route
- Desert Solitaire
- Blame It On Cain
- Watt Me Worry?
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- Cardinal Sin
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- Sanctify Yourself
- Willit Hold?
- Last Temptation
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- Etta
- Save the Ales
- Zap No. 4
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- More Mercy
- Worthy of It
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- The Awfulwidth
- Beautiful Dreamer (aka Gullywog)
- Edchada
- Western Omelette
- Seriously Shady
- Homo Erectus
- Grab My Sac For A Toy
- Parliament
- Where Janitors Dare
- Left Crack
- The Oven Mitt
- Dutch Doll Gutter
- B.M.T.C. Leader
- Screw the Pooch
- Mutterers
- Don't Quit Stitching
- Poodle Pot Pie
- The Slab
- Jo Mama
- Ranger Rendezvous
- New Year's Quickie
- R&R Revamped
- Eat the Meat
- Imma Playa
- Sickology 101
- Vagina Dialogues
- Cook the Dinner
- Carry the Water
- Used Gear Salesman
- Thin Spin
- Probably Been Climbed Before
- Swatchbuckler
- The Gear Thief
- Five-Four-Plus
- Damn Jam
- Goodfellas
- Mata Hari
- I Will Investigate Myself
- Toddling
- Caw Caw
- Casa del Gato
- Psychedelic Elvis
- Preggers Can't Be Boozers
- Blue Suede Shoes
- Super Cheap
- Wit
- Riding Shotgun
- Kill Them All and Let God Sort Them Out
- Blues for the Red Sun
- It's Good To Be King
- The Hit
- Sabina
- Acuity
- Sagacity
- Synchilla Burgers
- In Memory of Elizabeth Tortoise
- Unknown (Peyote) Chimney
- Lucas Palucas
- Gang Grain
- Whole Grain Goodness
- Fatal Flaw
- Youth groups need to climb too
- Dinky
- Illegal Campfire
- Thinking Of Debbie
- Little Brown Eye
- Midweek Crisis
- The Rusty Axe
- Dorothy Goes To Jail
- Small World
- Tick Attack
- God, Guns, Guts
- The Wife Beater
- Grand Hotel
- Ice Cream for Crow
- Andre the Giant
- Herd Instinct
- Neptune
- Beating Around the Bush
- The Labyrinth
- Road Dogs
- Dreams Of Red Rocks
- Little Brown Jug
- Undercling Bypass
- Tanning Salon
- Bighorn Hand Crack
- Boulder Crack
- Ditch Witch
- Felch
- Spire Route
- It's Not Brain Surgery
- Walking the Dog
- Toto Meets the Bighorn
- The Lollipop Guild
- Trundle Cracks
- Able Was I Ere I Saw Ellesmere
- Emoji
- Cheap Pottery
- False Pahrump
- Nine Lives
- Chimps Fly
- Monster Magnet
- Right Double Feature Crack
- Outward Bound Slab Route
- Sweeny
- Ligamentor Seconds in Vans
- Keep the Worm Firm
- Bush Driver
- Bleed Proof
- Head Room
- Ben Scabbyface
- Randy
- As the Wind Blows
- Pebbles and Bam Bam
- Junkshow Express
- Frankie Lee
- Key Players
- Easy Day
- Astoria Crack
- Eileen
- Lady in Grating
- Slippery Arete
- The I
- Petty Theft Artichoke
- Spaghetti & Chili
- Ticket To Nowhere
- Thumby Bloody Thumby
- The Eyes Have It
- Charlton Heston is My President
- Klimb It
- The Matisse Falcon
- Megalosaurus
- Pebble Picasso
- Woman with a Parasol
- Butterfly Constipation
- Swing Shift
- Kelvin and Hobbes
- Acupuncture
- Raunchy Bung
- Hashish Corner
- Vaino's Crack
- Spirit Of The Dead
- Adult Gerbils $1.59
- Arturo's Arete
- Up Chuck
- Look But Don't Touch
- No Touchee Wallee
- Urban Redevelopment
- Indecision 2000
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- Chicks
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- Hand In My Pocket
- Invasion of My Fantasy
- Buddy Hackett
- Buddy Rocks
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- Mr. Bunny Vs. Six Unknown Agents
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- Once in a Lifetime
- Pick Up Litter
- White Punks on Rope
- Beck's Bet
- Euthenics
- MZM (Maria Zink Memorial)
- Self-Driving Car
- Mr. Lizard Meets Flintstone
- Exalted Easterners
- Ramble On
- Unknown
- Crack B
- Ted the Generic Guy
- Quivering Lips
- Ancient Ones
- The Sound of One Hoof Knocking
- Fantails
- Chicken Bones
- Prozac Crack
- Dark Tannin
- Eat What You Secrete
- Background Noise
- Waiting for Alan
- Heartless
- Wilderness of Edom
- Lazy Maritimer
- Satyriasis
- Bivy At Gordon's
- Return of the Mimmster
- The Stiffy (on the Woody)
- Desert Queen
- Rodeo Drive
- Big Dipper
- Marie Antoinette
- Prime Rib
- The Druids
- When Okja Flies
- Ghost Dancing
- Al's Route
- We'll Get Them Little Pricks (aka Cunning Linquist)
- Debbie Does Everyone
- Done with Debbie
- Mongoose
- The Gritty, The Bad, and The Ugly
- Have a Beer with Fear
- N.A.
- Duck, Duck, Goose
- Lurleen Quits
- Lurleen Never Tried It
- A Danger To Herself And Others
- Chossy Choad
- Half Time
- Downpour
- Space Walk
- Flies on the Wound
- Aztec Twostep
- Buckets to Burbank
- Desert Five Spot
- Unknown
- Don't Tread on Me
- Dipped Cone
- Chesire For President
- Chesire For President
- Montague Jetson
- Planetary Motion
- Volvo Station Wagon
- Silky Stones
- Twinkle Toes
- Big Brother
- SARS
- Yellow Peril
- Maizy
- Fuzzy Energy
- Tia
- Unknown
- Gut Reaction
- All Along the Watchtower
- All My Friends Are Ugly
- Jack Sparrow Crack
- Little Caesar
- Groveling Gringos
- Idiot Wind
- Fat Freddie's Escape
- Broke Back Burke
- Penthouse Pet
- Two of a Kind
- Bookman Pitman
- Desiderious' Delight
- Wet Bones
- Jedi Mimmster
- Morning Wood
- Anthrax
- Baby Ice Dog
- Sgt. Rock
- English Opening
- Human Be-In
- Cocoa Puffs
- Dweeb
- Comp
- Dealer's Choice
- 39 Steps
- Pair of Jacks
- Trivia Quiz
- South End of a Northbound Poodle
- Escape From Wyoming
- Paranetium
- Previously Unreported Route
- First Crack Left of Gardening At Night
- Air Crack
- Tobin Bias
- City H
- Narcissus
- RT60
- Sabine Equation
- White Noise
- Bakersfield
- Bearded Oyster
- Mummy Dearest
- Serf's Up variation
- Practice Crack #3
- Tom Bombadil
- Raker Mobile
- Indian Creek Crack
- Monkey Gone to Heaven
- Unknown
- Wildkirchli
- Cereal Killer
- So close but yet so Yeti
- The Irritators
- Pokie's Big Chance
- Bush Doctor
- Fun with a Gun
- Tragic Kingdom
- Poetry In Motion
- Snow White's Scary Adventures
- Range Wars
- Sabretooth
- Unknown
- Bush Crack
- Yellow Hair
- West Chimney
- Pinnacle Stand
- Don't Bump The Glump
- Roach Roof
- Double Delight
- False Classic Corner (aka The Case Of The Missing Nolina)
- Into The Black
- Hazing Incident
- Chick Hern
- As the Crags Turn
- Bonzo Dog Band
- Aye, Aye
- Jyl & Jerry
- Wilma Rubble
- Life's a Bitch and then You Marry One
- Ripples
- Hard Science
- The Unreported
- Silver Fox
- n00b t00b
- Left Double Feature Crack
- Easy Day Crack
- San Rio Crack
- Easy As Pi
- Mind Blender
- Dust Bin Hoffman
- Mom For The Road
- Oral Sex Bozeman
- What a Joke
- AC/DC
- Unsightly Blemishes
- Mr. Comforte
- Half and Half
- Robitussin
- Impatience (aka A Diamond, A Pony, and a Ferrari )
- Disney World
- Leaping Creamer (aka Sometimes We Crack Ourselves Up)
- Guard Duty
- Raging Intensity
- The Sound of One Shoe Tapping
- Little Bunny Fu-Fu
- The Hem
- Marmac's Crack
- Hot Tubs From Hell
- Skinny Legs And All
- On The Air
- Bored of the Rings
- Calgary Stampede
- Saltimbanco
- The Moonwalk
- One Small Step
- Double Fisting
- Mr. Michael goes to Washington
- Unknown 740
- The Treat
- Morris
- The Litter Box
- Damm Dike
- How About A Date, Baby?
- Lurch
- Flat Tire
- False Rat Ledge
- Lewis Black
- Minotaur
- Spineless
- SW Face
- It's Not Happy
- Johnny's Depths
- Sneezy
- Using Your Nose
- Poon
- Da Kitty! Da Kitty!
- Kodiak
- Beatle Baily
- P.O.S. Lieback
- Stink Steak
- Prefab Sprout
- Dry Rain
- Live Free and High
- Lookout Crack
- Eff Eight
- Ulna
- Dangers of Conformity
- Omega
- Volga Boat Men
- Stood Up
- Johnny Cat
- The Olson Twins
- Split
- Warm Beer
- Edom vs Moab
- Hhecht
- Heartbreak Ridge
- More Hustle Than Muscle
- The Watercloset
- Fat Man's Misery
- Vulgar Boot Men
- Taurus
- Crack 63
- Chuckles
- Season Opener
- Solar Technology
- Sexy Grandpa
- Slanta Claus Left
- Roadside Rib
- Citizen Fish
- Honeybucket
- The Mummy's Curse
- Walk of Fame
- Talus Phallus
- Bloom County
- Butterfingers Make Me Horny
- Model T
- Sepulcher Explorers
- Walrus-Like and Wimpy
- Serf City
- Waiting For The Sun
- Insider Information
- Cow Pie Corner
- Have A Nip
- Pathetic Crack
- Just Another Roadside Attraction
- Vitamin R
- n00bulator (aka Pathetic Face)
- Worthwhile Pile
- Up and Down
- Reach Around Cop
- Yaborrhea
- Beanie Babies
- Dances with Coyotes
- Zelda
- Cranny
- Monkey Business
- The Goat
- Snoops
- Dance without Sleeping
- Feline Pine
- Beezy
- The Reverend
- Ren
- We Dive At Dawn
- Oh God, It's My Boss
- Weasels on Drugs Climbed up my Bunghole (aka Richard Gere Crack)
- Hope and Glory
- Berlin de Fence
- Practice Crack #2
- Zukertort
- Twins
- Nicole Kidman
- Nectar
- Tres Equis
- Bitter Brew
- Eyes of Amber (aka Chivalry's not Dead)
- Mumbling Bee
- Toe the Line
- Wheat Chex
- Cell Break
- Box Canyon Crack
- Jail Bound
- Margarita Crack
- Toil & Trouble
- Wilted Flower Children
- [Redacted]
- Chicken Run
- Dover Sole
- Swink
- 3rd Class It
- Mother of All Poodles
- Cricket
- All-reet Arete
- Barely Crankin'
- Yosemite Sam
- Part-Timer
- G.A.C.
- Corn Flakes
- [Redacted]
- The Gymbag
- A Taste of Blood
- Jesse
- Jermaine
- Left S-Crack
- Tattered
- Darva
- Deflowered
- Span-nish Fly
- I'm Already Bored with the New Millennium
- The Sound of Grains Snapping
- Crack 2
- Crack A
- Baby Banana
- Windy City
- Alley Cat
- Right of Garfield
- The Fabulous T. Gordex Cracks
- It Satisfies
- Blue Nun
- Atomic Pile
- Dead Reckoning
- Skeleton in My Closet
- My Friends Treat Me Like a Mushroom
- Pacific Avenue Dorm
- Poultry Pilots
- Steeped T
- Search for Klingons
- False Hem
- Dylan's Offwidth
- Curtain Call
- Dress Rehearsal
- Owatafooliam
- Pegleg
- Swain In The Breeze
- Furthest Right S Crack
- Baba Louie
- Hot Cross Buns
- Lean-To
- Ursa Minor
- James Brown
- Cool Dome Pinnacle
- Baby Roof
- The Key Hole
- Muff Divers
- Pahrump
- Sandal Crack
- Reggie Zigzags
- Unknown - Left of Dike
- Unknown 5.7
- Are We Ourselves
- Leader's Fright
- Drawstring
- Commitments Are For Me
- Fistful of Bush
- Michael
- Sugar Daddy
- French Flies
- Roy's Solo
- Tom's Solo
- Crank Queenie
- Mosaic
- Excuses
- Faith Healer
- Bill's Nuts
- That's What She Said
- Yi
- Hush Puppies
- Kickoff
- Accounting Trolls
- Riddle of the Sphinx
- Nurse Ratchit
- Flake Hickey
- Maid in the Shade
- My Best Work is Done in the Dark
- Non-Decumbent Destiny
- Big Bird
- Slanta Claus Right
- Almost Vertical
- Conservative Policies
- Ernie Pyle
- Not Worth Your Pile
- Pile it Higher and Deeper
- A.A.
- The Haberdashery
- Date Queen
- Plain But Good Hearted
- Nature Walk
- Slab Rats
- Double Decker
- Chili Dog
- False Smooth as Silk
- Silkworm
- Poodle in Shining Armor
- Coyote Bait
- Poodlesby
- Route 182
- Duchess
- Mad Hatter, The
- Paint and Body
- Custer Was Here
- Swiss Cheese
- Out Of The Wind
- Pure and Easy
- Fissure Merde
- Twin Bolts
- Chicken Poop
- Coyote Crack
- Eyesore
- Karpkwitz
- Maybe Baby
- Not Worth Your While
- Dopey
- Nolan Ryan
- Lord Jim
- Chocolate Chips (aka Omaha Beach)
- Generic Route
- Palm-U-Granite
- Allergy
- Chips Ahoy
- Deceptive Corner
- Nuts are for Men Without Balls
- Carola's Hip
- The Morning After
- Satchmo
- Diagonal Chimney
- Jaime's Big Show
- Party in the West
- Hitchin' Post
- Necktie Party
- Bad Water
- Wiseguys
- 20 Grit Route
- 30 Grit Route
- Dancing on Dimes
- Staircase Crack
- Zinging in the Grain
- The Mikado
- Minion
- Panama Canal
- Bombay
- Calcutta
- Gotcha Bush
- A Fistful of Poodles
- Anointed Seagull
- Men with Cow's Heads
- Wet Pigeon
- Dan Cruise
- Muffin Top
- Holy Zarquon (aka Crack Worthy)
- Creditor's Claim
- Nutcracker
- Rejuvenation
- Flakes of Doom
- Wacko Wall
- Bottom of the Barrel
- Mr. Ranger Sir
- Jelly Doughnut
- Stake Your Claim
- Chernobyl Crack
- Master Blaster
- Sentimental Apathy
- Indian Garden
- Heffalump
- Hollow Point
- Lucky Lady
- Bisk
- Blistering
- C.C. Takes San Jose
- Porky's Excellent Adventure
- Grand Cayman
- Fringe Benefit
- Green Mansions
- South Face Route (aka Owl)
- Where's Baldo?
- Last Angry Arab
- Robotic Surgery
- Ain't Nothing but a J-Tree Thing
- Zonker's Brownies
- Roman Pretzel
- My Three Friends
- Hollywood Boulevard
- Fluff Boy
- Jumping Jehosephat
- Pfundt's Folly
- Sandblast
- Upevil
- Snail Away
- Where Two Deserts Meet
- Filch
- Chile Willie
- Look Mom, No Hands
- Snake Oil
- Backdoor Santa
- Eff Four
- Blue Sky, Black Death
- Slam Dunk
- With Malice and Forethought
- Bucket Brigade
- Nobody Walks In LA
- Power Line
- Corral Crack
- Spider's Web
- Grain for Russia
- Short Crack
- Tuna and Cheese
- Chocolate Snake
- Hairline
- West Face Overhang
- Rings Around Uranus
- Sunnyside Campground
- Unknown 5.6
- W. A. C.
- Blue Collar
- Keystone Crack
- Gorgasaurus
- Chicken Pox Leave Bad Scars
- Masochism
- Carolyn's Rump
- Self Abuse
- Grand Theft Avocado
- False False Smooth as Silk
- Tofutti
- Squirrel Attack
- Bonnie Brae
- Nuts and Cherries
- Dilly Bar
- Jumping Cholla
- Stucca By A Yucca
- Wataneasy Route
- The Dharma Bums
- Hamms Down (aka Chipped Suey)
- C*nt Crack
- S is for Super
- Super Chicken
- Adam's Happy Acres
- Beck's Bear
- Tiny Dancer
- Heathcliff
- Garfield
- I'm So Embarrassed For You
- She's So Unusual
- Fiendish Fists
- Bouncer
- B Flat
- Axiom
- Bolder Face
- Heart Slab
- Political Asylum
- Straight Flush
- Which Witch
- Jane Pauley
- Jon Crowley
- H.R. Hardman
- Duchess Right
- White Trash
- Cake Walk
- Diabetics
- Worthless Bile
- Jackpot
- Polar Bears in Bondage
- The Rabbit
- Hidden in Plain Sight
- Maggie's Farm
- Go For Broke
- Ranger J.D.
- Double Start
- Tabby Litter
- Bonglett, The
- A Walk on the Beach
- Flake and Bake
- Toy Story
- White Collar Crime
- I Am Not A Crook
- Walkway
- Right Sawdust Crack
- Final Act
- Parental Guidance Suggested
- Person Sitting in Darkness
- Asian Sponge Bath
- Bong Along
- Flash Gordon
- Disappearing Belayer
- Bear Necessities, The
- Deadheads
- South Buttress
- Aleister Crowley (aka Brew 102)
- Bryant Gumbel
- Whiskey
- Driving Limitations
- Pet Project
- Debbie Does Donuts
- Holden Hands
- Peculiar Taste Buds
- The Face of Tammy Faye
- Robaxol
- Jump Back Loretta
- Splotch
- Little Rock Candy Crack
- Salathe Free
- Jagged Little Phil
- Babylonia
- Schandenfreude
- Disco Sucks
- Unknown Face-ish Route
- Crack 69
- Lizard Skin (aka Blue Belly)
- Nereltne
- Ulysses' Bivouac
- Foul Fowl
- Business Trip
- Hot Tub Honey
- Fender Bender
- Curbside
- Look Mom No Name
- The Chicken Ranch
- Ursa Major
- Fryer Flyers
- Rip Off
- Sidestep
- Request Chimney
- Boost for the Beginner
- Siamese
- Cole Lewis
- The Playwright
- Unwiped Butt
- Grain Surplus
- Toe Jam Express
- Linda's Face
- Linda's Crack
- Donna T's Route
- The Chessboard
- Potlicker
- Jug-Yur-Not
- Jaime's Crack
- Borneo
- Beginner's Two
- Suzie's Cream Squeeze
- Duchess Left
- SOB
- Rainy Day Women
- Bakersfield Bomb
- Briar Rabbit
- Wallaby Crack
- Andromeda Strain
- Cellbound
- Hillside Strangler
- Ranch Hand
- Eschar
- Square Root
- Fifteen Minute Gap
- Hoblett
- Ranger J.B.
- Finally
- The Old Man and the Poodle
- Mosaic Wall
- One Point Crack
- Pony Express
- Picnic
- Spider
- Look Mom, No Sweat
- Right Peyote Crack
- Hedgehog
- Mad Race
- Swishbah
- Myrmecocystus Ewarti
- Holds to Hollywood
- Yucca Bowl
- Little Brown Jug
- Lizard Breath Arden (aka Lizard Robbins)
- Limited Partnership
- Tumbleweed
- Date Shake
- Felix
- Court Jester
- White Powder
- Penelope's Walk
- Poodle Lizard
- Tubers in Space
- Belly Scraper
- Squat Rockets
- Jessica's Crack
- How Loose Is Your Goose